When Forty Winks Are Not Enough
The thoughts that keep us up at night and what to do about them
By Ron Ciancutti
Sleep-related problems affect 50- to 70-million Americans of all ages and socioeconomic classes, according to a 2022 study completed by www.sleephealth.org. Evidently, the most common disorders include insomnia, sleep-apnea, restless-legs syndrome, and narcolepsy. The odds of being sleep-deprived (fewer than six hours per night) have increased significantly over the past 30 years as the lines between work and home became blurred, thanks to digital technology becoming a firm part of the American lifestyle.
© Can Stock Photo / tab62
My doctor sent me for an overnight sleep-apnea test years ago. I packed my jammies and toothbrush and left the wife and kids for the hospital around dusk. The kids looked concerned and kissed me as if I were leaving for Iraq. The wife wanted more clarification of the monitoring staff, and seemed a little disturbed that I was being videotaped all night. I assured her this was standard procedure and departed for the hospital.
Between The Sheets
After I brushed and dressed for bed (sans bedtime story), I was taken to a very clinical room where my head and arms were attached to no fewer than eight wires. I lay down carefully under a spider web of electronics and tried to relax. Right. I slept a total of 1 hour and 33 minutes. One week later, the official results showed I was having trouble sleeping. Wow—the wonder of technology.
Back home, I was next introduced to a sleep-apnea machine, which made me look and sound like Darth Vader. This headgear monstrosity was created to remove every romantic impulse a husband and wife ever had. The look on her face as night one commenced was more than I could stand. I told her, “Luke, I am your father.” She didn’t even smile. I called the doc the next day, and he intimated that apnea has a lot to do with weight gain. As I began to increase my fitness, indeed the problem began to lessen. Just for good measure I set up the spare bedroom that I could use from time to time when I awoke to find my wife sitting with her head in her hands. Really, guys, there is a common courtesy to consider if you are snoring the siding off the house. She has to get up tomorrow and be productive, too.
Examining My Waistline
We made it through that episode, and snoring continues to remind me that my belly button is getting farther away from my spine. The conclusion is simple: the better shape I am in, the better my body works. Diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea—all these effects can be minimized by maintaining good health. But let’s be honest. Our infant and toddler kids sleep like bears in a winter cave. Why is that? Well, their little minds are free of troubles, anxieties, and all the things that are part of our daily experience. Sometimes I bring so much to bed with me there’s barely enough room for the pillows. I typically sleep better if I do the following:
Stop eating after 7 p.m.
Keep a pad and paper by the bed in case I remember something I need to address (if I don’t jot it down, I obsess about it all night).
Read, even a few pages of some fiction (Zane Grey westerns are my favorite).
Pray (saying thanks for all I’ve been blessed with).
Despite all of these environmental factors, sometimes I roll over and see red numbers glowing in the dark; it’s 3 a.m. and I am wide awake. At those times, I’ve learned to stop fighting it, so I get up and busy myself with a few tasks that might save me time tomorrow (empty the dishwasher, fold a load of towels) instead of lying awake becoming frustrated. I’ve tried all the over-the-counter sleep helpers I can find and admit I do sleep better with 5 milligrams of Melatonin, but STAYING asleep is the challenge.
Gnawing Thoughts
So, what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with 70-million Americans like me? What’s rolling around in our heads that busies the brain so much we can’t nod off and stay asleep? My checklist goes like this:
I always respected and honored my parents and sisters.
I finished college.
I finished my master’s degree in Business Administration with high marks.
I completed a 38-year career and retired with pride and a solid reputation.
I married a beautiful girl (in all ways), and we’ve stayed together for 34 years.
I helped all five kids successfully get through elementary, junior high, and high school.
I put two of them through college and helped the other three set up solid lives.
I helped others when I could and a few when it seemed I couldn’t.
I lived in respect of God and honored His Commandments.
I kept up mortgage payments, car payments, and utility payments so my children never went without.
I even remained a loyal Cleveland Browns fan when the team gave me every reason to walk away.
So, what thoughts won’t allow me to sleep soundly?
I think I know. My insomnia comes from the haunting thought that, in a flash, all the “things” I treasure and have worked for can be taken away. If I put my mind to rest and allow one minute to pass without my “standing guard,” could they all disappear? I worry they might so if I watch over everything, I’ll see the attackers coming and do something to reverse their arrival. So how can I take the time to sleep? Does that ring a bell with any of you? Are we restless because we’re standing guard over all we’ve built?
The haphazard economy, the value of our homes, the age of our cars, our children’s decisions, the ever-shrinking “savings” we can’t seem to sustain—all appear like CDs we jam into a player and eject over and over until we hear something we like and let it play for a while.
Let It Go
I used to talk to my dad about this stuff, and he concluded that, despite all our worrying, there’s nothing we can really do about the things that are inevitable. If we’re in the midst of good times, we can be sure that somewhere in the future we will be challenged and find ourselves dealing with unforeseen adversity. And vice versa. Abe Lincoln said worrying was like a rocking chair. It keeps one busy, but one doesn’t get anywhere. To that end, I find it easier to conclude that, if it were meant to be, it will be. Some simply call it “God’s will.”
And as far as that kind of “will,” consider the following:
Find a way to fulfill that will for ourselves.
Look for continual confirmation.
Seek direction and affirmation through prayer.
Pay attention to obvious signs that this will work out for us.
Don’t be influenced by human interpretation. People will lead us away from what we decide.
Follow this will, although at different points we might feel like it does not appear safe.
So, what have we got to lose to gain true peace of mind? That lets our minds rest and puts our bodies at ease? Let’s try putting it in God’s hands and seek the will that can take us in the right direction and eliminate the worry or strain we feel obligated to endure. People say, “Give it up to Him.”
Maybe we should give it shot. What have we got to lose? Other than a good night’s sleep.
Ron Ciancutti worked in the parks and recreation industry since he was 16 years old, covering everything from maintenance, operations, engineering, surveying, park management, design, planning, recreation, and finance. He is now retired. He holds a B.S. in Business from Bowling Green State University and an M.B.A. from Baldwin Wallace University. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at ron@northstarpubs.com.