Rethinking Priorities

There’s been a shift in focus, but not about what we love

By Ron Ciancutti

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to learn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Photo: © Can Stock Photo /  monkeybusiness

Have we ever stopped to think about what we really love? Sure, the simple answers are spouse, kids, friends, relatives, and pets. And we are grateful for a job, a house, cars, etc.

But in the wake of the pandemic, did any of us experience the loss of something we didn’t even know was so loved? I think most of us have a strange but new empathy for people in unfortunate circumstances and the possible lessons that may be a silver lining we have yet to notice. Maybe it’s a new sense of vulnerability that’s given us a better vision. Personally, I don’t know if I ever had a full appreciation regarding the impact of the following:

• Job loss

• Bankruptcy

• Foreclosure

• Lack of healthcare.

In the years before the pandemic, I simply went to college, went to work, received benefits, earned my pay, and bought things I needed. It was a formula—a map I followed. I always felt blessed and grateful for what I had, but perhaps I did not realize how delicate that balance was. In the last year, I’ve come to realize how wrong it is to take any of that for granted.

Necessary Evils

Start with the job. What many of us used to complain about, the mutual-ground topic we groaned about on Sunday evenings. Suddenly, when many people couldn’t make that daily appearance due to layoffs, furloughs, or termination, a large amount of well-being fell away. The camaraderie, the distraction, the security of simply waking five days a week (or maybe more), and performing the tasks of work allowed many to say, “I’m doing the best I can.” But without the strict obligation of the daily performance, the feeling of uselessness was compounded, and some employees felt ineffective as human beings.  In a short time, some people missed the habits and obligations they had taken for granted for years. 

Hand in hand with the job came the benefits and the ability to save. Unfortunately, I’ve met many people over the last year who are blowing through their savings and neglecting routine healthcare due to job loss. As I dealt with these factors personally and watched friends and family do the same, I began to see all the lessons of this time.  Maybe this separation from the life we’ve known for decades will become the foundation of a long, overdue adjustment in our thinking. Younger generations do not follow the strict 9-to-5 lifestyle our fathers’ generation did. Being more versatile and less committed, they see no reason to put themselves second in line for anything. They don’t find their attitude self-serving, merely self-surviving. One young man was furloughed and simply doubled his supplemental “Door Dash” hours without skipping a beat. When he was finally called back to his original job, he actually noticed a small loss in disposable cash.

When I asked him what kind of “rainy day” money he was putting aside, he just smiled as if to say, “Silly man, that no longer applies.” And that’s when the beauty of all of this hit me. Maybe this major reset we’re experiencing is to help us cope with these future changes, so we can adjust our thinking and lighten our self-imposed guilt. But maybe the changes should be more about the present rather than the future. After all, I always heard if people want to make God laugh, they should tell him their plans.

• Is it really mandatory to pay off the house and leave the debt to our children when we die?

• Is it really that important to invest and save and do without so we have mega-back up funds?

• Should we really deprive ourselves of vacations, a better car, and proper healthcare just “in case”?

Or should we simply enjoy life and do the best we can each day?

Rainy-Day Saver Vs. Live-In-The-Moment Spender

I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. I’m one of those guys who doesn’t mind driving a used car, as long as it starts, heats, and cools. I also like not having a car payment. By the same token, I always wanted my wife and kids in the best car I could afford—four-wheel drive, high safety rating, roadside assistance, etc. Those were my priorities in the budget.

And items like these are the culmination of this whole experience—in deciding what my priorities are and deliberating the real cost and value of them. Would I prefer to have an extra mortgage payment or two in the bank? Of course, but if I don’t, I’m grateful that I safely have the one I need this month.

Yes, the pandemic has changed my focus, but not about the people and things I love. The change has been in my appreciation for them, and I think it’s actually better. I told you there was a silver lining.

Ron Ciancutti worked in the parks and recreation industry since he was 16 years old, covering everything from maintenance, operations, engineering, surveying, park management, design, planning, recreation, and finance. He is now retired. He holds a B.S. in Business from Bowling Green State University and an M.B.A. from Baldwin Wallace University. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at ron@northstarpubs.com.