From Student To Teacher
Lessons shape the person you are and want to become
By Ron Ciancutti
A sad part of being 60+ is seeing mentors pass on, and even some peers. I am acutely sensitive to old movies and programs, and often hear characters say things like, “Dad, you’re in your 60s now. Time to slow down and think about retiring.” It wasn’t that long ago that living into one’s 80s was pretty unique. These days, the line is that 60 is the new 40, and when I reflect on my grandparents and their peers, I must admit that the people in their mid-60s did, indeed, look more “grandpa-ish” than the average 60-year-old today.
Photo: © Can Stock Photo / gstockstudio
Pass It Along
I find myself reflecting on some of the lessons taught to me by older individuals, and I can’t help but notice I now play the wise, old mentor role without even trying. One of the young guitarists in my church’s worship band was fooling around with the clip that held his guitar strap; he had twisted the screw so many times that the hole was now oversized, and the screw was unable to be tightened. I motioned to him to bring it over. I put a drop of glue in the hole and broke off two toothpicks and put them in there as well. I placed the screw in, and it tightened right up. I explained that, as the glue set, the hole would get even tighter. He was downright amazed. Such a simple thing. The man who taught me that trick some 50 years earlier when I was a handyman’s apprentice taught me many other things:
To pierce a paper plate on the pole that holds a paint roller, so when painting a ceiling, the splatters fall onto the plate instead of the floor or one’s left eye
To join two rubber bands to make one longer one (over under/under over)
To put an unopened garbage bag at the bottom of the trash can before putting another bag in, so there will be one ready for the next time.
Pearls Of Wisdom
Ideas like those were sewn into the pattern of my life, and I still use them today. It seemed that real-life lessons rarely came from books.
Another of my mentors taught me how to be a good coach to kids in baseball:
The importance of drills and how to make them simulations of actual game play so patterns are remembered and called upon naturally.
To have all players shout out the number of outs and where the next forced out would be (“Two outs, play is at first base”) before each batter. It was such a critical drill for learning how to be organized and expecting certain outcomes.
Staying calm and not screaming at kids as the only way to get lasting results, no matter how upset I really was.
These lessons came in handy as I aspired to management positions, fatherhood, and even my faith. I also collected phrases from some of my best mentors. Among my favorites (excluding all those laced with obscenities) are the following:
“Sometimes you have to speak softly to a stubborn horse in order to get him to carry you where you need to go.”
“Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
The Art Of Preparation
This past summer, I watched a 14-year-old pitcher warm up before my grandson Nick’s playoff game. Nick is a strong hitter, and I wanted to see what he would be facing. This pitcher had amazing control for his age. He had a curve, a slider, and a fastball, and the fastball always channeled low and away. I told Nick to wait for the fastball because he is a low-ball hitter, and that pitch was his favorite. The pitcher threw the curve and the slider as he had in warmups, but Nick waited on both of them. Both were called strikes. But the next pitch was the fastball, and it came low and away as I had promised, and Nick sent it to the fence, but not quite over. When he got safely to third base, he turned to the bleachers and found me sitting there smiling as he gave me a “thumbs up.” Although he was totally elated, the bigger lesson was in what can be earned by preparation. Nick began scouting the other pitchers after that game. It served him well through the playoffs, although his team lost the championship game by two runs.
The scouting of opposing pitchers became a pattern for Nick as he realized the benefits of good preparation. He started using the alarm-clock setting on his parent’s coffee maker so he had a hot cup of coffee waiting when he awoke (yes, 14-year-old Italian boys drink coffee). He cleans out his book bag on Friday after school, so he is ready to go on Monday morning. He makes his lunch for Monday on Sunday night instead of on Monday morning. In short, the advantages of looking ahead have taken root, and I am very proud of the young man he is becoming. The falcon has heard the falconer.
Invaluable Lessons
Lessons to be learned are all around us. At least that’s what I have found. Sometimes they are stored and re-discovered; sometimes they become such a part of us that we don’t even know they are lessons we’re reenacting. But they stick and make us the person we find at the end of the line.
Speaking of great lessons, I’m reminded of an old, Italian tale my father-in-law used to share with people sitting at the table when coffee was being served. A man told his son to get a blanket for his grandpa so he could be kept warm on the way to the nursing home. Minutes later, the father heard a strange sound, so he went to the next room and found his son ripping the blanket in half.
“Why are you doing that?” the father asked.
“I’m saving the other half for you someday, Dad.”
Keep your eyes and ears open, my friends. Lessons will swarm about you like fireflies. Share them, follow them, but never stop gathering wisdom.
Ron Ciancutti worked in the parks and recreation industry since he was 16 years old, covering everything from maintenance, operations, engineering, surveying, park management, design, planning, recreation, and finance. He is now retired. He holds a B.S. in Business from Bowling Green State University and an M.B.A. from Baldwin Wallace University. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at ron@northstarpubs.com.