Banish Bullying

Address the growing epidemic with training

By John Engh

About 10 years ago, the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS) received a call from one of its largest member organizations: “What does NAYS have for us on bullying prevention?” I immediately recognized this was a subject missing from our training. NAYS contacted organization officials to discover the extent of the problem. “What kind of bullying are you dealing with?”  The response was, “Every kind you can imagine.  We have coach to coach, coach to player, player to player, parent to coach, coach to parent.”

NAYS

The next step was to see to what extent bullying was an issue in other programs. So, through an unscientific process, NAYS found that many leagues and associations were looking for help in dealing with the same problems. Many members said that, beyond dealing with parents, bullying was one of their toughest challenges. And, of course, the NAYS focus is on young players participating in programs.

On the surface, the solution seemed fairly simple. After all, an adult spending time with a group of kids should be able to easily see and react to bullying. But what we learned was that much of the bullying happened when kids left the fields and courts. Many times, the kids are living in the same neighborhoods and go to the same schools and take the same classes. So, it may be easy for one child to target another when adults are not around much.  

I thought of my own time in youth sports when kids tried out for rec league teams. There were only as few as 10 spots available for basketball and maybe 15 for baseball. So, many of the kids who played together and became friends through sports were now viewed as “not as good” as some of the other kids who made the teams. I distinctly remember one of my best friends from youth basketball not making the middle-school team and immediately feeling embarrassed around some of the kids who had made the team. A comment like “What are you doing with that loser?” or “Did you see that kid choke in the tryout?” went a long way to ending a two-year friendship. He would hang around me in the neighborhood, but would dread being around me at school in case one of the other guys on the team showed up. I totally lost touch with him by the next year, and if it wasn’t for Facebook, I probably would never have heard about him again. (He’s doing very well, by the way!)

A similar thing is happening in youth sports today with travel and select programs, where only the best kids are chosen. It’s an instant insult to those who may not develop as quickly and almost an invitation for bullying. That is why it is so important for adults to have a good understanding of how and when bullying can occur. I am proud that NAYS decided to make training free not only for members but for any adult involved in youth sports. After all, bullying does not belong in youth sports—ever. 

John Engh is executive director of the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS) in West Palm Beach, Fla. He can be reached via email at jengh@nays.org. To join more than 3,000 communities by starting a NAYS Member Organization, visit www.nays.org, email nays@nays.org or call (800) 729-2057.