Supporting The Transition To Swimming Lessons
What to do when parents give in to crying children
By Ruthanne Dorlon
As a seasoned aquatic manager and swimming instructor, I have seen for about two years that more parents have real concerns about their child getting upset during the new experience of swim lessons.
I first came face-to-face with this phenomenon when a grandmother asked me to teach her 2-year-old grandson. Dad entered the water with the child while Mom and Grandma sat on the side as I went through my usual parent-tot parental information before beginning water-adjustment skills. As soon as the child got his eyes wet, he began to scream. Mom immediately came running, nearly falling as she grabbed him from her startled husband. She pulled her son out of the pool, cradling him, saying, “You don’t need to be so afraid; you don’t need to do this! It is okay, we don’t need swimming lessons!” There was no way anyone could convince her to allow her son back in the water. In the exchange between Grandma and Mom, Grandma said, “You didn’t like swimming lessons when you first started, but we kept taking you, and you learned to swim!” The daughter screamed at her mother, “I ALWAYS hated swimming lessons, every moment of them, and I will not have my son traumatized by them!” Grandma replied, “I don’t want your son to drown in your backyard pool because you won’t let him cry!” Her daughter did not back down.
I thought this would be a one-time situation, but I have had so many similar experiences with parents and children since that I have started preparing parents and instructors to proactively handle this concern. Most of the situations have not been as dramatic as the one described above. More often, a parent decides the child is not ready for lessons because the parent becomes upset every time swim lessons are introduced. The common thread in the parent’s thinking is, “I don’t want my child to have a negative experience. It is too hard on my child! Perhaps he will outgrow it!” The parent is more concerned about the child’s immediate despair than the seemingly remote possibility of the child becoming a drowning statistic. In order to become proactive in educating parents and helping them deal with the short-term, my staff members and I have gradually added a few introductory steps that have been very helpful to the Learn-to-Swim program.
Steps For Success
We tell parents what to expect concerning their child’s behavior from the first interaction. A sign-in process for swim lessons gives the parent and the person signing the child in an opportunity to ask a few questions, like “Is this the first time you have been here?” During this process, the parent and child are introduced to the instructor who will be working with them. We always get the parent’s cell-phone number during this process. We also try to introduce a new parent to a parent who has been bringing a child to swim lessons for a while. Our teachers open the first day of classes by saying, “Your child may not have fun right away, but stay consistent, and he or she will soon be looking forward to swimming lessons.” An experienced Water Safety Instructor acts as the hostess, walking around the pool deck and interacting with new families. Our goal is to reassure and help the parent overcome any embarrassment by the child’s behavior.
When we have a child who becomes upset during the lesson, our hostess or I interact with the child’s parent by asking something as simple as, “How are you doing, Mom?” We attempt to find out about any previous swimming experience. Also, we ask about the child’s normal behavior that will help us understand him or her better. We inquire about the best way for us to intervene with the child. There is no option for the parent to remove the child from the lesson. I or another seasoned instructor will go into the water to work one-on-one with the child, and if the child calms down, we may ask the parent to take a video of the child in the water. Rarely will we ask a parent to leave the pool deck. This would only occur if the child is so fixated on the parent that the child is not able to focus on anything the instructor is doing or saying. In this case, I carefully show the parent to a distant area to still be able to watch the child without the child seeing the parent.
Homework And Follow-Up
After the lesson is over, the instructors inform the parent how the child specifically improved during the lesson. For example, “She puts her face in up to her nose, or he went under completely one time.” If possible, it is best to speak with the parent in front of the child, as this helps encourage the child. During our conversation, we always give the child and the parent an assignment to work on before the next lesson. It may be as simple as blowing bubbles properly in the bathtub with goggles on. Or it may be kicking on the side of the bed or lying on one’s back in the bathtub with the water in the ears. With all first-time families, I make sure to call or email within 24 hours. Follow-up is so important because the contact can help the parent begin to trust us and our program. The result will be the opportunity to take this child though the years from a beginner to an accomplished swimmer.
Swim lessons will change a child’s life. By our supporting parents and children through the transition to a new experience, they will have more confidence in trying new things. The children will feel free to enthusiastically participate in many water experiences throughout childhood. What an amazing opportunity we, as aquatic professionals, have!
Ruthanne Dorlon is the Aquatics Manager for RDV Sportsplex Athletic Club in Orlando, Fla, and has served in this capacity since 2005. She has taught swimming lessons since she was 17 years old. She and her husband, Bob, have raised five children and have 11 grandchildren. Reach her at rdorlon@rdvsportsplex.com.