R-E-S-P-E-C-T
By Ron Ciancutti
Success
“To laugh often and much.
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
--Winston Churchill
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“They do not love who do not show their love.”
--William Shakespeare
When did it all change? When you read the words above by some of the great minds of their time and contrast that with the people we read about today, there is an absolute conflict in ideology. Where has the term “value” gone?
Today, people looking for fame, glory, and immortality express it from a different angle. It isn’t enough to know the news. It isn’t enough to have an opinion. People have to have their opinions broadcast in such a large way that they become the news. They have to participate, get their face in there, and make it about them.
It isn’t even about the issue or working it out. It is about “THIS is my position, and since you might not agree, I’ll pick out a few innocent bystanders and make them victims of my insanity to make sure you listen to me; and then I’ll do away with myself to be sure to evade any justice or public closure.”
It’s about cowardice and never really facing issues. In many cases, it’s about kids from wrecked, abused childhoods carrying the hate forward. It’s about those kids learning early on they were the result of a mistake, an unwanted pregnancy producing an unwanted kid and perhaps causing an unwanted marriage that ended in a sloppy, hostile divorce with conflicted children in the wake. It’s about people who really never made up their minds about who they would be; they just let life “happen” without taking any responsibility, and pretty soon, by never making a choice, life made the choice for them.
We are hearing about all of these opioid-related deaths now. The numbers of deaths are staggering. Well, folks, think about it. If your existence is barely a place better than death, why not try a new drug and buy a little peace and instant relief? It’s escapism at its finest, but do we honestly have the nerve to look surprised? For some, the picture has become so bleak that they only have the energy to find someone to blame and then just sing that anthem any time the topic rolls around. “It’s not my fault.”
No More Dreams
When I play my old Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin records, the lyrics talk about someone or something “making dreams come true.” Dreams? Who dreams anymore? Which of today’s misguided youths seems to think about anything more than tomorrow or next week? The once-lauded “American Dream” is little more than a “stolen nap on Nyquil.” Many of today’s rising executives want as little responsibility as possible; they would rather rent than own, borrow without repayment, not reproduce, and if they should, parenthood without marriage is best. Commitment? Zero!
Many young adults look at their parents and grandparents and see the workaholic addiction, lack of relaxation, and the obligations created by children, mortgages, and ownership. They say, “No thanks—life is too short. I’m in this for me.” The problem is they never see the ice melting beneath their feet as time creeps up (and by). Suddenly, they’re 40 and still sleeping in Mom’s basement without any life skills or working foundation. By the time they start to panic and realize where their lack in addressing life has brought them, it’s often too late.
I thought Mitt Romney had a good shot at the presidency in the 2012 election. I went to local Republican headquarters a few weeks before the election and requested some yard signs and a few magnetic bumper stickers. A man there told me he could only give me one of each, but they were expecting more from the main headquarters by the following Friday. I recall thinking, “Forget it, it’s already over.” I mean, since I couldn’t even get a yard sign that close to the election, that type of disorganization spoke volumes about the campaign. The same is true about the youth I am discussing. If they’re waiting until the age of 30 to even start to stake their claim, they have a lot of hustling to do to break free from the habits created by their indulgent parents.
Making Things Too Easy
The fact is that life is supposed to be a little uncomfortable now and then. How soft are we going to get before we come back to reality? Come on, should our car really park itself, or should we have some skills and learn how to handle that monumental task on our own?
Shouldn’t we make a better impression by following up an online application to a new job with a personal visit? Yes, I know the sign says “online applications only,” but show me a supervisor who isn’t impressed with a young adult who cares enough to show up and reinforce his/her candidacy.
And how pitifully weak is a guy who only confesses his true feelings to someone he has always cared for through the safety screen of an internet social-media site? No risk. No hopeful love note professing his admiration, just factual website research to safely attempt a long shot. What a man! What a boring, terrified man.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting regular, everyday folks in the same category as a serial criminal, but I firmly believe we have pampered young adults to the point that many of them see no reason to be motivated or worse, STAY motivated. Because lost skills are greatly needed, my friends, and most of you know exactly what I am talking about.
Yes, it is awesome that, as a young adult, you earned the new job, but you don’t have long to bask in the sunlight of that accomplishment. Now you have to get to work, make an impression, and move forward. And once you have done that, you need to buy a home or at least establish a good place to raise your family. And you’re not done then; your family needs things—a car, an education, clothes, food, etc. You must work hard, make more money, and motivate the family to work in order to form a highly functioning, alert, supportive TEAM. You see, anyone can lazily go through life and pretend not to care about the rest of the world, but folks, that’s not honest. The fact is that people need goals, to be driven and motivated, not just for financial gain, but to be an energized living entity that contributes to society and seeks to achieve things.
Bottom line: If you are not moving forward, you are not standing still but are actually moving backwards, and that does not only take a toll on you, but it takes a toll on society. If you take care of yourself, then the rest of us don’t have to take care of you. With that, you achieve integrity and your message is heard, not because you took hostages, but because you earned the right to participate and speak with a voice that deserves to be heard.
You don’t take respect, my friends, you earn it, and that process cannot be hurried. It happens over time as you display dedication, a willingness to learn, and a resolve to accomplish.
Ron Ciancutti has worked in the parks and recreation industry since he was 16 years old, covering everything from maintenance, operations, engineering, surveying, park management, design, planning, recreation, and finance. He holds a B.S. in Business from Bowling Green State University and an M.B.A. from Baldwin Wallace University. He has held his current position as Director of Procurement since 1990. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at ron@northstarpubs.com.