Love Her Enough To Talk To Her
She always asks if I want tea. I almost always say no, but she still asks me. I began to realize it was something about having tea together that she was gunning for, so the other night I said, “Yes. Yes, I’ll have a cup.” She froze in her step and smiled before she went off and prepared a couple mugs as only she can (my version always lacks something).
I took another bold step and when she came back--I shut the television off (Did you guys know it has an “off” button?) and instead, we talked. She was so happy about all this that I couldn’t help but smile as she told her stories, her little Italian arms swinging all over the place as she dramatically spoke. This girl I married, she’s something else. Twenty-two years later and I still really enjoy her company, her ways--all the things that drew me to her in the first place.
So with all this Llll…, Lu lu lu lu, llllllll, love (there I said it) in my heart, I went down to the cards and gift shop the following day to pick a Mother’s Day card. I snapped up a couple for my sons to give her, but found it to be a bit of a challenge. My boys love their mom and they treat her well. They each already had a gift to give her, but they asked me to choose a couple cards that she would like. You know more than just, “Mom You Are the Greatest!” And although I found a nice card for each to give, it took awhile because the majority started like this:
“Mom--you clean up all my messes both in my room and in my life.”
“Mom--you never quit on me no matter how much trouble I caused.”
“Mom--even though I never say it …”
“Mom--even though I never show it …”
“Yikes,” I thought – “this is terrible. Does anybody just love and respect mom? What are we training our young men to think?” I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. Next to this was the “To My Wife” section and you guessed it – this gallery was even worse.
“My Wife, My Love--I am sorry I often ignore you …”
“My Dearest--Although it may seem I never know you’re there …”
“Honey--You always remember the little things and I forget everything …”
“My Love--Your constant forgiveness keeps our love strong …”
Are you kidding me? These should be translated to show they really say:
“Whew--I am getting away with murder here! Why do you stay with me?”
I know many of us have been together forever and believe there is little reason to formally remember each other, but I disagree. I hate when people say, “Oh it’s just another way for the card people to make money. She knows how I feel.” Bottom line is if you don’t generously do things from the heart for each other once in awhile, who is ever going to do them? People need to feel appreciated and loved; all people.
C’mon guys, take the time to look at your spouse all over again. Realize all they do for you and your family and if perhaps if you merely “phoned Mother’s Day in,” you should ask for a “do-over” and take that life-partner to lunch or dinner, maybe even a movie on a week night--something different, something special, something better than our knuckle-dragging brethren seem to be doing as this sad display at the card shop showed me.
Be the person you were when you found each other. You may find the beauty in life that’s been lost to soccer practice, science projects, fast-food and emotional exhaustion. She’s still in there brothers, patiently waiting; actually, you may just have to dig a little. I suggest you prove you were worth the wait.
Ron Ciancutti is the Purchasing Manager for Cleveland Metroparks. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.